fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
