I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
