So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
