You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
