Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
