I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
