The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize