I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
