Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
