dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
