i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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