i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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