I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
