this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
