You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
