I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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