I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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