I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
