Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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