I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No I am not eating basil off your cock
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
