i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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