i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
