FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
