I heard we made out
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
only you would photoshop your dick
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
