im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We have so much sex to catch up on
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
