You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
