speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
