The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
