forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
