She's JV to your varsity
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
