I want to stick my p in your. b.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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