i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
