i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
