you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
