He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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