My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
