Hey man sorry I got all grabby
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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