Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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