Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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