i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
