How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
