god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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