thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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