I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
