Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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