Your face is a jimmy john
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
