Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just forgot I was standing up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
