grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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