Nicole vs. Life
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
