Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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