Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This toilet bowl is my home.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
