we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
