you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
